


Until Next Time (Perhaps Never)

by orphan_account



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: M/M, TODae - Freeform, ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 13:40:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13765314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Seunghyun has to end it all because Daesung won't.





	Until Next Time (Perhaps Never)

_We should stop this,_ Seunghyun mumbles over his steaming paper cup. Plain coffee, windowshield, rainy days; everything that reminds him of the day they started.

  
_Why?_ Daesung asks but not confused, not lost. He's standing beside Seunghyun's car, shielded by his umbrella . _You need me_.

  
That's true, that's the truth. But Seunghyun doesn't want to bend it, dance around it, hide behind it, crawl and scrape until its last bit is in the palm of his hands anymore. He wants to break it, scatter it to dust, set it free with the wind he cannot see.  
_**That**_ and another truth that's coming into their way, one that Seunghyun had seenapproaching, had seen happening, but still hurting him the same way. Maybe not as much as taking a step back, maybe not as much as building walls between them. Maybe not as much as letting Daesung go.  
But it's the more important truth that has to come first.  
It's the most important one.

  
_I do_ , Seunghyun says softly. _But I won't_ , he adds.

  
_Why, hyung?_

  
The question dances around them, filling the spaces that Seunghyun so desperately wants to destroy. They can't have it, the comfortable silence and unspoken understanding. They shouldn't hold onto it; bonds and friendship and secrets. Everything has an end and Seunghyun wants to be the one who cut the rope. _**So that Daesung doesn't have to, because Daesung won't**_.  
Won't do anything that could mean losing Seunghyun.

  
_You have girlfriend_ , Seunghyun states and it tastes bitter, closing in his throat he might be choked by its sting. _You're thinking about getting married_.

  
_Are you worried about that?_ the younger's voice is confused, pressing the matter, pushing for an answer. He almost sounded angry.

  
_I'm not_ , because Seunghyun doesn't. And if he tries hard, he probably never will. _But you are._

  
_How do you know that?_ Daesung challenges him, defeated. The stars in his eyes are broken. If Seunghyun stares a bit longer, he'll drown in its darkness.

  
_Because I know you_ , the day is dull, so is their promise. There's no miracle, just the absence of luck. _Because I know that you have to go_.

  
_**How about us?**_

  
There must be a rule in breaking up, where it's going to hurt in the beginning, painful for some days after, but a moving on that's sweet later. There must be something behind it all, something powerful that doesn't make you look back. Something good and beautiful that makes you understand why it has to happen.  
Seunghyun wants to believe that so he lets the view fades, the feelings gone and the rest of their conversation to come easy, as daily as it should be.

  
_You have to let us go._

  
_Hyung._

  
_You have to, Daesung._

  
_I can't. You know I can't._

  
_I need you to._

  
_You need me to come around._

  
_I need you to let go._

  
_I can't._

  
_Daesung -_

  
_I won't._

  
_. **..Don't come over. Don't come near**._

  
_You're going to call me because you need me._

  
_I called today, remember?_

  
_HYUNG!_

  
_I need you to let go._

  
_Please, don't do this to me..._

  
**_Let us go._**

  
_Stop._

  
_Live, Daesung. Just the way it should be, okay?_

  
_It already is, hyung!_

  
_Let me go, Daesung._

  
_Seunghyun-hyung!_

  
_She's waiting for you. Someone is going to give you the world you deserve._

  
_What about all I want? About all I...I think I deserve?_

  
Seunghyun closes his eyes and sees Daesung smiling, Daesung singing, Daesung standing in the spotlight, Daesung with everything he wants him to have but never could give. He sees Daesung reaching all his dreams, without him.

  
_**You don't know what you deserve**_ , he starts the engine, the car is about to leave, two people is about to part, a bond is about to break, love is about to be buried, smile is about to fake. But there are things that will make you smile so bright that it hurts, Daesung. _And it's not me, not this time, at least._

  
Because maybe, just maybe, Seunghyun will come again on earth as raven, and some day, one day, as the sun rises in the sky, he'll be able to watch _**love**_ , dreaming and dreaming and dreaming without other people judging, without the world saying that it's wrong. Perhaps, in another chance, he will be something, someone that Daesung deserves to have, bound to keep.  
But not now, certainly not in this lifetime.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. My 95th story in this fandom, I can't believe it! I feel so honored to know that some people actually enjoyed my work. Here's my parting gift, an actual breaking up of my favorite todae. I always think that they deserve an ending someday, when things aren't rushed, before it's all crumbling. They've been my guilty pleasures for so long. I always know that this day will come, still I'm not prepared when it's actually coming. They will always be in my heart, tucked safely under the pile of memories. They will always be something that put a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. Always. [daengel;LosingInterest2018]


End file.
